I will be 10 days short of getting on a plane and heading to Miami, and then Colombia. Today I had the first little tiny bit of reality and sadness hit me. Up to this point, it’s been pure excitement and happiness that I have experienced when thinking about my upcoming journey with the Peace Corps. Today, I was already feeling eh when I started thinking about how close January is getting, and how little time I have to spend with my family before I leave. The weather had me down today and all day I kind of felt on the edge of tears. I have these kinds of days every once in awhile, the feeling would come and pass throughout the day. Negative thoughts and happenings in my friends circle, on the news, and in my family kept infiltrating my brain. While at the gym, I really got to thinking while I was running on the treadmill. I’ve been a better person at a different time in my life. I was more liked by myself, other people I know, and strangers. I would like to revert to that person. I think Colombia will be a great opportunity to re-find Mia (although I’m going to start now). I’ve found that my levels of judging and gossiping have gone up, while my levels of compassion and happiness have gone down. I would like to invert those levels.
I am nervous to make this public and allow friends and family to read it, but I will do it anyway. Soon. It feels good to write, I like my writing voice. Although I said that today I experienced some sadness while thinking about my departure, I am more excited than ever.
I took this photo of my mom 3 months ago, she had just gotten her hair done and when I pulled up to her house I didn’t recognize her. She looked so pretty. I asked her if I could take her picture, she asked why. I wanted to show my friends! She let me and she even smiled. This was the first time I had seen my mom smile sincerely in approximately 3 years. Three months really does fly.